Journey of a Lifetime

My first Romantic message to Vidu...

 

Year 2003, sometime in July or August...I guess...



Talking is certainly not my cup of tea while for her that’s her bread and butter. She hails from Mumbai, a city of dreams, home to bollywood and the financial capital of India with a very busy and hectic life. While I belong to Chennai, which still maintains itself cultural ethos and struggles to find the right equilibrium between traditional values and modern requirements. In this context our match making was fixed and our expectations of each other were quite different like the cities we belonged and identified ourselves to.

 

Though inherently from a Brahmin family, hers being more orthodox than ours, due to the cities where we lived and the exposure to modern lifestyles, her father had given her certain liberties with the passage of time. Unfortunately this was not available neither to her elder brother or her sisters. She was easy going and liked to move out and mingle with friends and family. For me both my parents were working and I had certain amount of liberties but then due to my own nature I was more a home bound person than an outgoing personality.

 

After our betrothal she moved to Mumbai and we were somewhat in constant touch through phones. You can wonder how much I could speak…I don’t recall the conversations I had with her now but then yes I enjoyed it nevertheless. It’s always a nice and gives you a manly feeling when you are in love and loved.

 

However, I believe I started giving her lectures on how I expect my woman to be…set in more by seeing the mother as an example…as being independent and be able to lead their own lives from the front and not being totally dependent on me. This was starkly in contrast to what she was seeing at her home. Her mom is a house wife and her father is the bread winner. In my house, both mom and dad worked and mom had to juggle between work and home managing everything ably. With all this expectations, she got a little worried and was not sure if she could manage post marriage when it could become unrealistic.

 

It dawned on me quite late that I should be more romantic at this stage in my life than preaching about my outlook and how we should plan our life etc. My dad being an artist used to collect a lot of foreign magazines for his artwork. And I used to cut certain pictures, quotes etc for pasting it in my cupboards and walls in my room. I pulled out some of the stuff and created a romantic leaflet. She did like it very much and at last heaved a sigh of relief that this guy was after all not that boring and dreary as it turned out to be initially.

 

During those times, atleast for me, I was not adept in terms of how to please a woman. What's pleasing to the eye may not be pleasing to the heart. You have to  subtle and nuanced in your expressions and expectations. 

 

However, even if I was nearing 30, I was not meant to be that way. I learnt the trade post courtship and marriage...and the learning still continues...as it's nigh impossible to satiate a woman...I guess many a men would agree with me.