Pen Parkum Padalam

Meeting each other & also the family...

27th April 2003, Sunday

In the traditional Brahmin communities, we have the custom of first exchanging boy and girls horoscopes to ascertain how it matches. Once it meets certain defined criteria, as a next step the parents exchange the photographs. Then they also inquire about the background of the family and if everything seems fine then they arrange a rendezvous at the girls place. The boy’s family (Parents, some of the closest relatives) goes to the girl’s house at a pre specified timing to see the girl. The boy’s family is welcomed with coffee, sweets and savories. The girl is supposedly bedecked in a silk sari and jewels and is presents herself in front of the family members. If you like (I guess it is mutual), you can ask to meet the girl for a private meeting in a room to discuss or share anything you might have.

All these happened in our family (to us as well).

The day was 27th April 2003 (Sunday)

I saw her and wanted to speak to her in private. We went into a room and I sat in the bed that was put up over there. Vidya stood in a corner. I asked her to sit beside but she politely declined. And then she started of saying, in English, that she cannot speak Tamil properly, does not know how to cook, this that et al. She asked me a few questions on why I quit my job in favor of CTS from Carborundum and compromised on my designation. And then we bid good bye and went back home. My folks liked her and also her family. I was in a quandary and could not decide. But there was one thing that I liked very much about her and that was she was absolutely candid about who and what she is as a person.

After some deliberation, everyone felt that we would make a great pair and would have a wonderful life together. May dad then called up her sister’s place and informed them that we liked her. Their response was muted and they said that they need some more time. I was absolutely livid with that reply and said that I would not take that. Whenever the call came, I asked my folks to inform that I would not want to take it further. As it happened, her dad called up to say that they were okay with the proposal but by mom conveyed the message that my son was not agreeing wondering if the delay was to force the girl to marry me.

Our parents asked us to speak directly to clarify any doubts each of us may have harbored in our minds. I asked her straight on; if she concurred because she liked me or was it thrust upon her. She convinced me that decision was hers. Match making was finalized to the relief and happiness of all elders.

Mumbai margarita…and Chennai chinnarasu decided on that day to walk hand in hand together for the rest of their lives. I should say it was a defining moment in my life and I certainly owe it to my mom.