37 years...

20th August 2010 –

My lady love is always special and she always comes up with little surprises and makes me feel absolutely wonderful, loved and cherished. Her love for me is just incomparable and immeasurable.

It’s more pristine and purer than the whitest dove on planet earth. It is exuded in every single breath of her. And yes, with all her undying love for me, I simply surrender.

Is this love? We always fight over each other’s love for the other. While she says I love you, she would say that I do not love her…but only crave for her exterior…how you express your love? Love for each other is visualized, symbolized, ascertained and felt in various different ways.

To explain I can feel her love, in her cooking, the way she chooses dresses for me, in adjusting to my intemperate statements and many other daily activities that constitute our life. On the contrary, she would say that I am only interested in sex. That’s the single most important thing in my life. My entire constitution is driven by the need for sex and nothing else. One is food and the other one is sex.

Hunger in different forms…does it mean that I don’t really love her for what she is…does the exterior only matters to me and don’t I ever regard her for her inner soulful beauty which actually lightens, brightens and enlivens our life hitherto.

Don’t I know the answers or I am trying to be too naïve and want to be like an escapist artist just to avoid hard hitting answers which invoke the harsh realities of life. What would have happened to my life, if she was not compatible enough to satisfy the two most important drivers of my life? Essentially food and sex…fortunately for me, today, she is extremely good in both and is able to satiate the burning passionate desires effectively and with consummate ease.

What if she was not attuned to my needs…would I have sacrificed and adjusted to the acrimonies of life blaming it as my ill fated juxtaposition. Or would I have walked away from the union of souls saying that this mismatch cannot be sustained as it would only aggravate and create further rancor and discord in the family.

I don’t have definite answers to the contrarian questions as today I know for a fact that we are both self adjusting and respect each other’s wants, expectations and desires. Mutually we recognize this and make sure that we give in and reconcile mid way so that the misunderstanding or the requirements are met. That I believe is the success and well being of a marriage. And as I told her, I cannot live without her, because I have come to depend so much on her as I used to depend on my parents earlier.

I am a complete family person and I just cannot live without my family. And so is she…in the process, we appreciate the fact that love can be expressed in various different ways…it can be emotional, tangible, intangible and also physical. Can you associate love with a value? It should not be as in that case then it becomes like a barter trade and not a non negotiable contract which you have undertaken at the time of marriage, where two souls have become one but retain their physical forms as an identity.

You do what you do for the other, because not only you like it, but more so the other person expects in the inner most recesses of his or her heart that you would do it. And sometimes, you surprise them when you do it to their disbelief or when they least expect it…especially from you. That’s the magical power of love.

You do it when the other does not even expect you to do it…but you know that your beloved would be carried away by what you have done. That’s exactly what she does for me time after time…yesterday as the clock was about to strike 12 at midnight….she took me blindfolded to the next room and surprised me with a cake she made at home. I was really spell bounded by her love for me for the nth time…still many more to come…as we fight also like cats and dogs…just for laugh. I was truly impressed and amazed that she thinks so much for me.

Would I do something like that for her…as she is an expert in cooking and that I am gourmet she makes me all the vegetarian delicacies of this world to my delight. And how do I reciprocate her love…I love to write about her…her love for me…and my love for her…and to ensure that all her longings and aspirations are fulfilled. I acknowledge her expectations and to realize her coveted needs, I would scale the heights of this world. Is it not the power of love? You do it because you love do it for your beloved one.

Yesterday, Once I came back from office the little one was trained enough by his mother to say…appa happy (birthday is silent to be understood) to you…may god bless you…In the evening after feeding Anirud, I took them to Daawat restaurant in Abu Halifa. After the sumptuous food, we then left to Fahaheel to check out, if DVD’s were available in our favorite shop. When we went there, the shop was completely knocked out.

Then as we came back to our parking zone, I asked her let’s go and check out the sun glasses in the new complex. I knew that she would resist it somehow, but then I forced her to come in. She had told me earlier that she wanted a pair of new branded sun glasses and though we had been casually looking at it for sometime nothing matched her face. To our surprise, we saw a couple of sun glasses fitting her perfectly in terms of shape, color and feel. She was resistant, as usual saying that it is expensive but then I convinced her to buy it. It was a Ray ban with a brown frame.

Then I made fun of her saying that “chumma” amma is resisting but finally relented, which Anirud also repeated. Finally we returned back home and put Anirud to sleep as it was already 11 PM. Then I started writing about Anirud’s latest escapades and narrations and by that time I finished it was 11.45 PM.

It was then that Vidya went into the other room and made arrangements without alerting me. I knew that she is planning something as a surprise, but I waited as I was also excited as to what my dearest is planning for me.

Then as I wrote earlier, she took me blindfolded and I could smell the smoke from the candle. And finally as the clock struck 12, I blew the candle, cut the cake and fed a piece to the love of my life which she reciprocated. Then we went back to the hall and sat in the leather sofa expressing love for each other.

Fondles and kisses later…we had rocking sex on the sofa…she pushed me back and straddled me down and blew the daylights out of me…fulfilled to the heart’s brim…we went back to our room and cuddled beside our little one to fall asleep in each other’s arms.

Today, everyone wished me many more happy returns of the day…and my honey prepared opulent lunch especially for me…then it was our usual practice of going to bed in the afternoon as Anirud also sleeps. We spoke for some time…and as usual I was stroking and kissing her and she asked me for the nth time…is this (sex) the only thing on your mind…I did not say anything but continued with my fondling, cajoling….and eventually she came on top of me…for the second time since yesterday night…as she slept away….I started to write the love and affection we shared for each other and how we have grown so much to depend on each other in our lives.

And as I told her yesterday night…I cannot even dream of living without you…lest this may happen in reality as we are so inseparable. Let this love reign for as long as it can…everlasting, memorable, beautiful, and spirited and it shall become immortal.

Love you baby doll…and we shall always fight…who loves the other more…

In the evening, at 5.45 PM I left home to pick up Ram Kumar and went to Balu’s house. Balu’s parents were all set to return to India and I volunteered to drop them as my Trailblazer can accommodate and had enough space for extra luggage. We went to the airport and Balu had opted for the Maraheb service, for which you had to pay extra money, but the airways staff would ensure that your luggage is checked in without waiting in a queue. Also for the immigration and boarding, you go through the business class check in gate. As the check in was over by 6.45 and the flight was to depart only by 9 PM, we went to Caribou café shop to have some coffee. We chit chatted until 7.45 PM and thereafter went to the Maraheb counter so that the staff could take Balu’s parents for immigration and boarding. We left the Airport by 8 PM and I came back home.

Ram Kumar suggested that we can go to Ginger, a vegetarian Thai restaurant instead of going to our usual restaurants. I agreed and he said that he would come and pick us up. The little one wore a new tee which had the saying “Daddy loves me, fast cars and mummy”. This guy is surely becoming a model fashion house at this age itself. He does look chic and ultra stylish in his various outfits and he also knows how to flaunt them. Both Mom and Son are always a la mode. They wear stuff that’s au courant. Mommy wore a green top and a matching skirt. She looked, just pretty, charming, trendy, hip and voguish. Boy, I would fall in love with this happening lady all over again and propose her to marry me, but I am not sure she would accede now. We then left at 9 PM as Ram Kumar buzzed us to come down.

Then we went to this restaurant. It was very small and we could not identify this place. It hardly had seating capacity for about 10 to 15 people. Ah, but the food was something different and tasted good. There was variety at last and there were some that was fabulous. The Tom Yum Ginger soup was made with coconut milk and some local ingredients, then we had this Vegetable tempura which was quite similar to our own “bajji” and then we had this noodles which was okay along with another dish. But the dessert fried banana with ice cream and honey was a class apart. It was simply outstanding and marvelous. We thanked Ram Kumar for his company and finally when we reached home it was 11.15 PM. By the time we reached home, the little one had slept in the car. When I remarked in the lift, baby you look sexy, stunning and gorgeous she pointed her slippers signaling something else. It meant do not disturb, your day is over so let’s hit the bed and catch some sleep. So that was it, the day was over…but a memorable and enjoyable one…

I have completed 37 years of non-existential life in this universe hitherto. It’s a sober, typical middle class life, of being an obedient son, a loving husband and caring father to my family and of course eking out a living by being employed in the private sector. Is this the way I want to live forever…nay nay nay…but have I also set out what I want to become…again…nay nay nay…so life goes on the way it’s destined…as I tend to believe…and not the way I have set it out the way I want to be…because I have not set my own destiny rather left it to Astrology, stars and the incomprehensible sciences, omnipresent being as we believe in the Gods, customs and rituals of being a Hindu.

Let me see, where do I go from here…what do I become in future and in the after lie? I wait eagerly in anticipation…a day of introspection, a day to celebrate the spirit of life and reassert the bondage, affection and love manifested in both tangible and intangible ways…and I just love my family…more than anything else…truly blessed to have such an wonderful and amorous wife like Vidya, cute and lovely child like Anirud and such affectionate and caring parents and doting and caring in laws, brothers and sisters.

Thank you dear lord for everything….

#Kuwait